Looking at "Jeri of Hollywood" Ads

One of the regular advertisers in Archie comics in the 60s was “Jeri of Hollywood.” “Hi! I’m Jeri Lawrence—Jeri of Hollywood!” the ads read. “Let me be your photo scout! I’ll send direct from Hollywood to you!—Free Star Photos! Not just one, but TWO DIFFERENT PHOTOS of each star you select! NO LIMIT! Pick as many stars as you like!” “Choose from these 100 TOP STARS, or any others! See instructions below.” Underneath the list of 100 Top Stars, the instructions were: “1.Print the names of your favorite stars (even if not listed above) on a sheet of paper. 2.For each name you select, enclose 10c to cover mailing and handling costs; for extra-quick special service, please enclose 25c extra. 3.Print your own name and address clearly.” The interesting thing to me, though, is the list of 100 Top Stars, and how it changed as time went by, with some stars (or “stars”) falling out of favor as others reach the ranks of the top 100. The list as it appears in Archie’s Pals ‘n’ Gals #33, Summer 1965, is:

Nick Adams, Paul Anka, Ann-Margret, Frankie Avalon, Max Baer Jr., Lucille Ball, Brigitte Bardot, Gene Barry, Beatles together, Ringo alone, George alone, John alone, Paul alone, Dan Blocker, Pat Boone, Peter Brown, Edd Byrnes, Angela Cartwright, George Chakiris, Dick Chamberlain, Gary Clarke, Chuck Connors, Robert Conrad, Gary Conway, Bobby Crawford, Johnny Crawford, Tony Curtis, James Darren, Doris Day, James Dean, Sandra Dee, Troy Donahue, Dion, Donna Douglas, James Drury, Patty Duke, Clint Eastwood, Vincent Edwards, Everly Brothers, Shelley Fabares, Fabian Forte, Connie Francis, James Franciscus, Robert Fuller, James Garner, John Gavin, Lorne Greene, Clu Gulager, Ty Hardin, Robert Horton, Rock Hudson, Jeff Hunter, Tab Hunter, Will Hutchins, David Janssen, Rick Jason, Danny Kaye, Linda Kaye, Michael Landon, Jerry Lewis, Gary Lockwood, Robert Logan, Carol Lynley, Sue Lyon, George Maharis, Jayne Mansfield, Doug McClure, Peter McEnery, Gardner McKay, Steve McQueen, Scott Miller, Hayley Mills, Sal Mineo, Marilyn Monroe, Mary Tyler Moore, Vic Morrow, Rick Nelson, Paul Newman, Paul Petersen, Suzanne Pleshette, Elvis Presley, Debbie Reynolds, Cliff Richard, Jeannine Riley, Pernell Roberts, Bobby Rydell, John Smith, Roger Smith, Connie Stevens, Inger Stevens, Elizabeth Taylor, Dick Van Dyke, Clint Walker, Deborah Walley, John Wayne, Guy Williams, Natalie Wood, Pat Woodell, Loretta Young, Efrem Zimbalist.

Several of these people I had to look up. Peter Brown had been the sidekick on a show called “Lawman” from 1958-62, made some movies and some TV guest appearances for a few years, and was about to star in “Laredo” from 1965-67. Gary Clarke had been a regular on “The Virginian” from 1962-64. Bobby Crawford was the older brother of Johnny Crawford and had had a recurring role on “Laramie” (not to be confused with “Laredo” or “Lawman”) from 1959-61, with some TV guest spots after that. Ty Hardin had starred in “Bronco” from 1958-62, then made some movies. Rick Jason was one of the stars of “Combat” from 1962-67. Linda Kaye, later known as Linda Kaye Henning, was the original Betty Jo on “Petticoat Junction.” Robert Logan had replaced Edd “Kookie” Byrnes as the parking lot attendant on “77 Sunset Strip,” ending in 1963. Peter McEnery was a British actor who hadn’t done much; he was probably best known to Archie readers from the Hayley Mills movie “The Moon-Spinners.” Gardner McKay had been the star of “Adventures in Paradise” from 1959-62, but did very little afterward. Scott Miller was sometimes known as Denny Miller and had played Tarzan in 1959; from 1961-64 he had been a regular on “Wagon Train.” John Smith (not his real name) had had a lot of credits in the 50s, then had been a regular on “Laramie” from 1959-63. And Pat Woodell was the original Bobbie Jo on “Petticoat Junction,” and was married to Gary Clarke.

Our next version of the ad comes from Reggie and Me #23, April 1967. The following have dropped out of the 100 Top Stars list (which is now a Top 93 Stars list): Nick Adams, Paul Anka, Max Baer Jr., Gene Barry, Edd Byrnes, Gary Clarke, Bobby Crawford, Troy Donahue, Dion, Clint Eastwood [a flash in the pan], Vincent Edwards, Everly Brothers, Shelley Fabares, Connie Francis, James Franciscus, James Garner, John Gavin, Clu Gulager, Ty Hardin, Jeff Hunter, Tab Hunter, Will Hutchins, Rick Jason, Linda Kaye, Robert Logan, Carol Lynley, Sue Lyon, George Maharis, Jayne Mansfield, Steve McQueen, Scott Miller, Sal Mineo, Suzanne Pleshette, Pernell Roberts, Bobby Rydell, John Smith, Roger Smith, Deborah Walley and Loretta Young.

Replacing them on the list are Julie Andrews, Richard Basehart, Batman (Adam West), Randy Boone, Sean Connery, John Erickson, Linda Evans, Mia Farrow, Sally Field, Anne Francis, Annette Funicello, Mark Goddard, Robert Goulet, Luke Halpin, David Hedison, Chris Jones, Marta Kristen, Jeri Lawrence [nice attempt at self-promotion there, Jeri—I wonder if anyone ever actually ordered her pictures? I mean, that’s like an autograph dealer trying to sell people his own autograph], Brenda Lee, June Lockhart, Richard Long, Lee Majors, Roger Mobley, Elizabeth Montgomery, David McCallum, Ryan O’Neal, Robin (Burt Ward), Bill Smith, Elke Sommer, Shirley Temple [hot new star], Robert Vaughn and Debbie Watson. Randy Boone had been a regular on “The Virginian” from 1963-66, and was about to become a regular on “Cimarron Strip,” which would last just one season. Mark Goddard was on “Lost in Space,” as was Marta Kristen. Roger Mobley was starring in a recurring segment of “Wonderful World of Disney” as Gallagher the teenage detective. And Bill Smith was just finishing up two years as a regular on “Laredo.”

The next version of the ad comes from Archie and Me #19, Feb 1968 (and appeared again in the June 1968 Betty and Veronica Spectacular). Now gone are Frankie Avalon, Pat Boone, George Chakiris, Chuck Connors, Gary Conway, Johnny Crawford, Tony Curtis, James Dean, Sandra Dee, Fabian Forte, Robert Horton, Rock Hudson, Danny Kaye, Gary Lockwood, Gardner McKay, Marilyn Monroe, Mary Tyler Moore, Paul Petersen, Debbie Reynolds, Cliff Richard, Jeannine Riley, Inger Stevens, Elizabeth Taylor, Dick Van Dyke, Natalie Wood, Pat Woodell, Randy Boone, Mia Farrow, Mark Goddard, Brenda Lee and Debbie Watson.

Troy Donahue and Will Hutchins, both of whom had been on the 1965 list but not the 1967 list, made comebacks. And new this time are: Bill Cosby, Robert Culp, Phyllis Diller, Dino, Desi & Billy, Barbara Eden, Ron Ely, Roger Ewing, Noel Harrison, Herman’s Hermits [being added in 1968?!], Steven Hill, Martin Landau, John Leyton, Trini Lopez, Cheryl Miller [a big crush of mine, from “Daktari”], Monkees together, David alone, Micky alone, Mike alone, Peter alone, Leonard Nimoy, Stefanie Powers, Bob Random, William Shatner, Nancy Sinatra, Barbara Stanwyck, Yale Summers [also from “Daktari”], Roy Thinnes, Van Williams and Robert Wolders. Roger Ewing had a recurring role on “Gunsmoke” from 1965-67. Steven Hill was a regular on “Mission: Impossible” in 1966-67, then left acting for several years. John Leyton was a British singer/actor who had had several hit records in the UK from 1961-64, then was a regular on a short-lived (half a season) US TV series called “Jericho” in 1966-67. Bob Random had been making TV guest appearances and occasional movies since 1964; I’m not sure what got him into this list. And Robert Wolders had been a regular on “Laredo” in 1966-67.

The final version I have appeared in Archie and Me #26, February 1969, and again in Archie’s Pals ‘n’ Gals #53, August 1969. Dropped from the list are Brigitte Bardot, Dan Blocker, Peter Brown, Dick Chamberlain, Doris Day, Troy Donahue [for the second time], Donna Douglas, Robert Fuller, Will Hutchins [for the second time], Vic Morrow, Rick Nelson, Connie Stevens, Clint Walker, John Erickson, Anne Francis, Robert Goulet, Roger Mobley, Bill Smith, Shirley Temple, Roger Ewing, Steven Hill and Trini Lopez. Debuting are Brendon Boone, Chris Cary, Larry Casey, Cesare Danova, Henry Darrow, James Doohan, Chris George, Ron Harper, Jonathan Harris, Sajid Khan, Deforest Kelly, Walter Koenig, Cameron Mitchell, Billy Mumy, Tom Nardini, Nichelle Nichols, Jay North, Gary Raymond, Mark Slade, Rudi Solari, Justin Tarr and Robert Wagner. Brendon Boone, Chris Cary, Cesare Danova, Ron Harper and Rudi Solari had been the cast of “Garrison’s Gorillas,” a TV series that lasted just one season, 1967-68—their presumed popularity among young people buying photos apparently didn’t translate into ratings high enough to keep the show on the air. Henry Darrow was a regular on “High Chaparral” from 1967-71. Tom Nardini was another Bob Random; he had been making TV guest appearances and occasional movies since 1964 and I don’t know what got him onto the list. Gary Raymond had been a regular on “The Rat Patrol” from 1966-68, as had been Justin Tarr. And Mark Slade was a regular on “High Chaparral” from 1967-70.

I don’t know if the Jeri ads continued after 1969, or if there had been other versions in between these ones or before 1965—these are all the ones I was able to find.

Looking at Harvey Comics

The first comic books I ever owned were a stack of early 60s mostly Dells and Gold Keys, given to me by my babysitter Sandy, which included a few Harvey Baby Hueys and Caspers, including a classic Casper involving a defective electronic brain. After I started buying comics in 1967 I only rarely bought a Harvey—Casper, Spooky, Richie Rich, Hot Stuff, Baby Huey or Little Lotta. Never Sad Sack; I think the several Sad Sack titles were invisible to me on the comics spin rack, much like Charltons or romance comics.

Sad Sack—He was an incompetent little Army private with a huge nose. I do remember reading Sad Sacks at the barber shop (they were on the lower shelf by the cash register, not the higher shelf--that’s where the Playboys are!). Then in junior high I found out that a guy I knew in the neighborhood collected comics, so we started lending them to each other—his were mostly Sad Sacks. It’s weird to think that World War II soldier Sad Sack lasted into the 1980s, essentially unchanged.

Casper—Everyone remembers Casper from the original 1950s theatrical cartoons, in every one of which Casper is ostracized by the other ghosts for wanting to make friends, sets off to find a friend, inadvertently scares a few humans/animals/inanimate objects with would-be hilarious results, then meets a human or animal child who is too young and/or spectrally naïve to be afraid of him. After an interval of happiness, something occurs to reveal Casper’s ghostliness to the young human or animal, but Casper quickly proves himself by saving the youth from some danger. Much better were the early-60s TV cartoons, which were also much closer to the comic books: Casper is a valued part of a forest society that includes the Ghostly Trio, Wendy the Good Witch and her witch aunts, Nightmare the ghost horse, Spooky the Tuff Little Ghost, and assorted fairy tale and folklore characters. Some sort of problem arises, like a prince is turned invisible and can’t figure out how to reverse it or a friendly giant develops Tourette’s syndrome, and Casper is instrumental in solving it. The 1960s version also had a much better theme song—everyone can sing the 1950s one, “Casper the friendly ghost/The friendliest ghost you know” etc, but the TV show had the classic

Come along now and join the party
Come along now and have some fun
We are a lot of friendly people
And the fun has just begun

But of course, I’m talking about the comic books, not the cartoons.

Richie Rich, the Poor Little Rich Boy—I never got why they called him The Poor Little Rich Boy. All the stories were about how wonderful his life was—I don’t remember any where he was suffering from deep existential angst, or even any with a “money can’t buy happiness” message. He always seemed pretty damn happy. At any rate, there must have been more comic book stories featuring Richie Rich than any other comic book character (with the possible exception of some character from a foreign country—as if those are real comic books anyway). The original Richie Rich title started in 1960, followed closely by Richie Rich Millions, then Richie Rich Dollars & Cents in 1963 and Richie Rich Success Stories in 1964. The first Richie Rich explosion occurred in 1972-73 (fueled by the recession?), when new titles Richie Rich Fortunes, Richie Rich Riches, Richie Rich Diamonds, Richie Rich Money World, Richie Rich Bank Books, Richie Rich Jackpots, and Richie Rich & Jackie Jokers were added. 1974-75 saw new titles Richie Rich & Casper, Richie Rich Cash, Richie Rich Gems, Richie Rich Billions, Richie Rich Profits, Richie Rich Vaults of Mystery (really), Richie Rich Gold & Silver, and Super Richie (which only lasted four issues). Richie Rich Zillionz was added in 1976, then in ’77 there was Richie Rich & Dollar the Dog, Richie Rich & Gloria, Richie Rich & Cadbury, Richie Rich Best of the Years, Richie Rich Digest Stories, Richie Rich Inventions, Richie Rich Vacations Digest and Richie Rich Digest Winners. Two more titles were added in 1979: Richie Rich & His Girlfriends, and Richie Rich & His Mean Cousin Reggie. Meanwhile many of Harvey’s non-RR books had been canceled, so by 1980 they were publishing very few comics that did not have “Richie Rich” in the title. In 1982 Harvey folded their comics line (Casper, Hot Stuff, Sad Sack, Sad Sack & the Sarge, and about 25 Richie Rich books), though in 1986 they came back with just a few titles and lasted to the mid-90s.

Spooky, the Tuff Little Ghost—Spooky was Casper’s cousin, but unlike Casper he liked to scare people (and animals, and inanimate objects). This would seem to make him simply a typical ghost, and not a particularly tuff little one, but he had freckles, a derby hat, and an accent that caused him to call the hat a “doiby” and his girlfriend “Poil,” so you can see how tuff he was.

Hot Stuff, the Little Devil—Hot Stuff was a bright red child devil, with horns, pointy ears, a pitchfork, and for some reason a white diaper. He was clearly not meant to be an infant devil or even a toddler devil, so I never understood why he wore a diaper. Are diapers worn by devils of all ages, because of some colon condition inherent to the species? Anyway, his personality and character were similar to Spooky’s, without the accent, but with the bonus of burning or melting anything he touched. If you can call that a bonus.

Little Lotta—Unlike Little Audrey or Little Dot, Little Lotta was not at all little, so I’m not sure whether the name referred to her youth or was ironic. She was a big, stocky girl whose stories generally revolved around her super-strength, her weight, and her enormous appetite. Sometimes she would pretend to be a superhero named Leapin’ Lotta, but since she was essentially a superhero already, that seemed pointless.

Little Dot—Little Dot was one of the most psychologically troubled comic book characters ever created. She was obsessed with dots. Everything she owned was covered with dots. Any round object was to her a dot and therefore desirable. While an intervention or rehab would seem to be in order, her parents grudgingly enabled her.

Little Audrey, AKA Playful Little Audrey—I guess she was fairly playful, but in this group of characters that’s an awfully vague characteristic on which to hang plot points. She had a friend/rival named Melvin.

Wendy, the Good Little Witch—Wendy was very similar to Casper, a female non-dead Casper with a magic wand, living with three aunts instead of Casper’s three, well, whatever they were.

Baby Huey—Baby Huey was another character whose animated cartoons generally had only one plot: the other duck children won’t play with him, so he finds someone else to play with who turns out to be the fox in disguise, and Huey somehow saves the other duck children from the fox, so then they’ll play with him. The comics didn’t follow this formula and were better. Some of the stories featured a cousin of Huey’s named Dimwit, which is kind of like Donald Duck having a cousin named Angry; Dimwit seemed older than a child but younger than an adult, so I guess he was a teenage boy hanging out with a preschooler.

You know, now that I think about it, Archie has very possibly been in more comic book stories than Richie Rich…

Looking at The Complete Peanuts 1969-1970, and Peppermint Patty’s neighborhood

In this, the latest volume of the series, things really start to shift, and we can see hints of the sad Peanuts of the 1980s and 1990s: Shermy, Patty and Violet barely appear, and Pig-Pen doesn’t appear at all; Woodstock gets his name; Peppermint Patty becomes a regular; and Snoopy really begins to dominate—becoming an ice skater, searching for his mother, staying with Lucy and Linus while the Browns are on vacation, beginning his novel, being summoned before the Head Beagle, becoming the Head Beagle, giving a speech at the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm, selling some land to the airport, wearing a copper bracelet to cure his arthritis, trying to help Woodstock go south for the winter, and escorting Peppermint Patty to a school dance. This is also when Peppermint Patty, who had always lived on the other side of town, appearing in the strip only occasionally, begins to just be there, without explanation.

In June of 1965, Charlie Brown went to summer camp and met a boy named Roy. Roy next appears a year later, when Linus goes to camp and also meets him. On August 22, 1966, Roy’s friend Peppermint Patty makes her first appearance, looking over Roy’s shoulder as he writes a letter to Linus. The next day, Roy mentions Charlie Brown and his horrible baseball team, and Peppermint Patty urges Roy to call him and tell him that she’ll be coming to help him out. Over the next two weeks, she heads “across town,” meets the team (establishing the recurring jokes of her calling Charlie Brown and Lucy “Chuck” and “Lucille” and thinking Snoopy is human), takes over as pitcher, gets discouraged with the ineptitude of the team (except Snoopy) and goes back home. In October Peppermint Patty receives a letter from Linus about the Great Pumpkin, reads it to Roy, then calls Linus, who sets off across town (with Snoopy) to enlighten her further. After Linus and Snoopy return home, she buys some pumpkins at a fruit stand to simulate a pumpkin patch, Roy accuses her of hypocrisy, she calls Linus for religious advice, then on Halloween sits in her “pumpkin patch” until after midnight without result. We next see her in a stand-alone strip in December where she is writing a letter to Santa that could just have easily been written by Charlie Brown, Linus or Sally—but apparently Schulz, who was obviously smitten with his new character, wanted to move her into a spot in the regular cast.

She next appears in March 1967, when she calls Charlie Brown to tell him she’s found him a great new player, secondbaseman Jose’ Peterson. They come over and join the team, but the next week they decide to go back home and form a team in their own neighborhood. On Sunday, April 23, Roy appears in line at a movie theater with Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, Shermy and Pig-Pen—perhaps the theater was in the center of town. In June, Charlie Brown goes back to summer camp, this time with Snoopy, and runs into both Roy and Peppermint Patty. On Sunday, September 24, Peppermint Patty is one of a series of characters—the others are Snoopy, Violet, Linus, Schroeder and Charlie Brown—whom Lucy asks to sign a document absolving her of all blame. In November, Charlie Brown calls Peppermint Patty to ask if she’s interested in making a trade between their teams; she offers him five players for Snoopy and he agrees, but then he feels guilty and tears up the contract, as meanwhile the five players tell Peppermint Patty that “they ‘d give up baseball before they’d play on your team!”

In 1968, she makes a single-strip appearance in March, telling Charlie Brown that their teams are scheduled to meet twelve times in the coming season. On Sunday, June 16, she and Roy appear in a Father’s Day strip. Then, starting the next day, she begins her first extended sequence as the central character, as she says goodbye to Roy and heads off to summer camp. Other than a brief appearance by Snoopy at the end of the two-week story, the only other characters are new, the girls in Peppermint Patty’s tent—one of whom is a prototype for Marcie named Clara. In July, Charlie Brown goes to the beach and meets Franklin, who will later be part of Peppermint Patty’s “other side of town” group. In October Franklin comes to Charlie Brown’s neighborhood for a visit, but is scared off by the odd characters he encounters; then on Sunday, October 20, he appears in a movie line strip, along with Charlie Brown, 5’s sisters 3 and 4 (who have been immortalized in the Charlie Brown Christmas dance scene), Snoopy, Linus, Lucy, Sally and Schroeder. Then, in December, there is a week of Peppermint Patty strips, during which she calls Charlie Brown for his address, walks to school with Roy, sits in class with Roy, and feeds a bird in the snow.

Which brings us to the 1969-70 volume. In January 1969 Peppermint Patty runs into Snoopy at a frozen pond and becomes his ice-skating partner, as he plans their entry in the North American Championships. In February, Charlie Brown and Linus are seen as members of the same class at school, contradicting the previously-established fact that Linus was younger than his sister Lucy, Charlie Brown, and the others (does this mean Lucy is now older than the rest of the kids?). On April 22, Peppermint Patty arrives at the baseball field and tells Charlie Brown that her team is going to have to forfeit the game to his team because too many of her players are sick. The next day, Franklin calls Charlie Brown and tells him that his team has to forfeit too. The day after that, Peppermint Patty and Charlie Brown are talking at the field and she tells him that she could have beat his team all by herself but she “didn’t want to make a fool of you.” We next see her in September, when she’s sitting on the curb with Charlie Brown and suggests that he get a football team together to play her team. Charlie Brown has some trouble getting a team together, but Snoopy and some birds show up to play Peppermint Patty’s team (which includes Roy, Franklin, and Jose’ Peterson) and beat them, with Peppermint Patty not only thinking Snoopy is human but the birds as well. Over the weekend of November 1-2, she wonders what to do with her pumpkin after Halloween, and tries to give it to Franklin and Roy before calling Charlie Brown on the phone. A week later she appears in three unrelated strips: On Monday, she and Roy are walking home from school; on Wednesday, she and Franklin are sitting in class; and on Friday she and Charlie Brown are walking and talking. Still in November, there’s one strip with Franklin and Roy talking as they walk to the movies; and in December, Peppermint Patty appears solo in one strip, set in class.

In January 1970, Snoopy is sent for by the head beagle, and on his way he passes Peppermint Patty on the street but walks right past because he has “no time for girls.” A few weeks later there are eight straight days of Peppermint Patty strips—she sits with Franklin in class, is sent for by the principal, comes back to class, from home calls Charlie Brown to ask for advice (she’s been told she can’t wear sandals to school anymore), and talks about it (in person) to Snoopy and Linus; then, after a Sunday bird-feeding interlude, comes to class on Monday in shoes and talks to Franklin. Starting in mid-February there is an extended sequence where Snoopy is named head beagle, then comes to regret taking the job; on March 6 he disappears, and when Linus and Lucy wonder where he could have gone, Charlie Brown calls Peppermint Patty and we see that Snoopy is with her. Charlie Brown takes a letter for Snoopy to her house, where Snoopy reads it and finds that he has been replaced as head beagle, after which he goes back home. We next see Peppermint Patty on Sunday, April 26, when she, Snoopy and Woodstock (about two months before he receives his name) are walking in the rain with umbrellas. She appears just once in May, when Charlie Brown catches her telling Snoopy and Woodstock scary vampire stories. On June 1, she calls Charlie Brown to ask if one of her players can borrow his glove; he agrees, and Sally asks him, “You’re going to walk clear across town to lend someone your baseball glove?” When he gets there, Peppermint Patty gives the glove to Thibault, a short, sullen, sideburned kid, and after winning the game Thibault refuses to return it, saying, “I know your kind! You come around here thinking you’re better than us!”—this makes Charlie Brown feel so good that he lets him keep the glove. After a June Sunday movie theater strip where Franklin is in line with Patty (original Patty, not Peppermint), Violet, Linus, Sally and Snoopy, we don’t see anyone from that side of town until a late-September Sunday strip with Peppermint Patty and Charlie Brown talking. The following Sunday, Peppermint Patty calls Charlie Brown to come over and see her birthday present from her dad, and the day after that Snoopy comes upon her sitting on the ground, looking sad, and he kisses her. Then, in late October, there are two days of Peppermint Patty in school, one of them with Franklin. Two weeks later, a sequence begins with Snoopy where Woodstock is having trouble flying south for the winter, so Snoopy decides to walk south with him. Peppermint Patty sees them walking past her house and calls Charlie Brown—now she recognizes that Woodstock is a bird but still thinks Snoopy is a person. They get lost and a strange girl finds Snoopy and ties him up; he starts howling and Charlie Brown and Linus hear him—it seems he had only gotten two blocks from home, which suggests that Peppermint Patty no longer lives “clear across town.” Next comes a Sunday strip on November 22, where Peppermint Patty is watching TV and first Charlie Brown and then Snoopy walk into the room (there was a long history in Peanuts of the kids seemingly making themselves at home in each other’s houses, and frequently it was unclear whose house they were in). The next day Peppermint Patty and Franklin are in school, and the following Monday a week-long sequence begins with Peppermint Patty inviting Snoopy to a school dance; there is no indication whether it is the same school that Charlie Brown and the others go to, but no other familiar characters appear in these strips. Sunday, December 6, is another Peppermint Patty and Franklin in school strip, which is the last appearance of the year for them.

At this point Schulz was still keeping Peppermint Patty and her friends separate from the other characters when at school, but otherwise he used her however he saw fit; eventually she and Charlie Brown would start being seen in the same classroom and her move across town would be complete.

Looking at the December 15 1962 Seattle TV Guide

These days if you’ve got even basic cable you can pretty much watch Christmas programs 24 hours a day from Thanksgiving onwards. So I thought it might be interesting to look at a week of December television programming from Seattle’s six-channel days (4, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13) with an eye toward Christmas.

Saturday, December 15
8:00 AM, Channel 5:
Telaventure Tales
The Book Explorers from the Magnolia Library discuss “Best Christmas” by Kingman.
9:00 AM, Channel 7:
Captain Kangaroo
Jean Jacques Perrey, today’s guest, performs on a musical instrument he invented—the ondioline. Musical numbers: “Santa’s Toy Shop” and “March of the Christmas Toys.” (60 min.)
12:00 PM, Channel 7:
Highways—Discussion
12:30 PM, Channel 7:
All America Wants to Know
12:45 PM, Channel 5:
Industry on Parade
1:00 PM, Channel 7:
Youth Speaks Out
1:30 PM, Channel 4:
Dentistry Today
3:00 PM, Channel 11:
Box 11, R.F.D.—Farm News
3:30 PM, Channel 4:
University Research
Prof. Peter Misch, geologist, guests.
3:30 PM, Channel 11:
These Are Yours—Education
[Just a sample of the excitement of Saturday afternoon programming.]
7:30 PM, Channel 7:
Jackie Gleason—Variety
Joe the Bartender and Crazy (Frank Fontaine) discuss the evils of Christmas shopping. In another segment, Jackie and Frank pantomime men who come into a house to lay new linoleum. June Taylor dancers, Sammy Spear. (60 min.)
[Linoleum pantomime! All right! Maybe next week there'll be a puppet show about plumbers or a monologue about furnace installation!]
9:00 PM, Channel 4:
Lawrence Welk--Music
Christmas music is featured tonight. Highlights include “Silver Bells,” “Susie Snowflake,” “Winter Wonderland,” “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” and “Raggedy Ann Doll Dance.” Lennon Sisters, Jim Roberts, Norma Zimmer, Dick Dale, Bob Burgess, Barbara Boylan, Jo Ann Castle, Larry Hooper, Aladdin and the Lawrence Welk orchestra. (60 min.)

Sunday, December 16
8:30 AM, Channel 7:
Look Up and Live—Religion
“How Jesus Came,” Part 3 of “Children and Christmas,” is rerun.

Monday, December 17
11:00 AM, Channel 4:
Jane Wyman—Drama
“The Night After Christmas.” Marley: John Dehner. Secretary: Bartlett Robinson.
3:00 PM, Channel 5:
Christmas Tree Ceremony
SPECIAL President Kennedy lights the White House Christmas tree and offers a brief Yuletide message. Secretary of the Interior Stewart Udall introduces the President. Providing Christmas music is the U.S. Marine Band.
8:00 PM, Channel 9:
Shepherds and the Magi
SPECIAL Students from St. Martin’s College in Olympia present a 13th-century liturgical Christmas drama.

Tuesday, December 18
7:15 PM, Channel 9:
Triptych For Christmas
1.An angel tells the story of the shepherds through the paintings of Peiro della Francesca. 2. The Nativity is illustrated. 3. Van der Goes’ view of the Wise Men.
7:30 PM, Channel 5:
Magoo’s Christmas Carol
SPECIAL COLOR “Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol,” an animated version of the Dickens classic. For details see the Close-up below. (60 min.)
“Laramie” will not be seen tonight.
[This was the first showing of what is undeniably the greatest of all Christmas television specials, featuring the saddest song ever written, “All Alone in the World.” (A hand for each hand was planned for the world/Why don’t my fingers reach/Millions of grains of sand in the world/Why such a lonely beach/Where is the voice to answer mine back/Where are two shoes to click to my clack/I’m all alone in the world…)]
8:00 PM, Channel 7:
Lloyd Bridges—Drama Lloyd Bridges’ eight-year-old daughter Cindy makes her acting debut in tonight’s drama. As Christmas draws near, little Cathy O’Connell hears “The Sound of Angels” and she delights everyone with her story of their heavenly music. Adam and Fred: Lloyd Bridges.
Guest Cast
Cathy…………..Cindy Bridges
Julie……………...Nancy Gates
[Lloyd played Adam AND Fred? Or one character named “Adam and Fred”?]

Wednesday, December 19
3:00 PM, Channel 5:
Wunda Wunda—Children
“Why Santa Chose Reindeer.”
8:00 PM, Channel 9:
Christmas Paintings
The struggles of an artist who is commissioned to paint Christmas.
8:30 PM, Channel 7:
Dobie Gillis—Comedy
“Will the Real Santa Claus Please Come Down the Chimney.” Maynard still believes in Santa Claus, and Dobie and his folks decide to cure him of his childish outlook. Dobie: Dwayne Hickman. Herbert: Frank Faylen. Maynard: Bob Denver.
9:00 PM, Channel 5:
Perry Como—Variety
COLOR Joining Perry for a Christmas songfest are Burr Tillstrom, Fran Allison and puppets Kukla, Ollie and Beulah Witch. Also on hand are the wives and children of Perry and the whole staff. (60 min.)

Thursday, December 20
7:00 PM, Channel 11:
Cimarron City—Western
“Cimarron Holiday.” The townspeople of Cimarron City get together to produce a Western version of Charles Dickens’ “Christmas Carol.” Matt: George Montgomery. Avery: Tim Hovey. (60 min.)

Friday, December 21
9:30 PM, Channel 7:
Fair Exchange—Comedy
“’Twas the Fortnight Before Christmas.” Tommy and Eddie decide—simultaneously—to surprise each other with a transatlantic trip. Eddie: Eddie Foy jr. Dorothy: Audrey Christie. Patty: Lynn Loring. Larry: Flip Mark. Tommy: Victor Maddern. Sybil: Diana Chesney. Heather: Judy Carne. Neville: Dennis Waterman. (60 min.)
10:00 PM, Channel 5:
Jack Paar—Variety
COLOR Jack’s guests include singer Sally Ann Howes and comedians Buddy Hackett and Vaughn Meader. Jack narrates films showing celebrations of Christmas Eve around the world. (60 min.)
[So, no made-for-TV Christmas romantic comedies, only one animated special, a few Christmas episodes of regular series, and some oddball public television (Channel 9).]

Looking at the KJR Fabulous 50, August 4, 1967

On August 3, 1967, my eighth birthday, I got a transistor radio. As I remember it, my dad said, “Here, I’ll turn it to a station you’ll like” and tuned it to 1300 KOL—in retrospect I’m not sure why he chose them over KJR, the giant of Seattle radio. (But I don’t have the KOL survey for that week.) Also as I remember it, I didn’t touch that dial for about two years, until I became obsessed with Johnny Cash’s “A Boy Named Sue,” started searching the dial because KOL wasn’t playing it often enough for me, and ended up on KAYO, beginning my country phase. Anyway, here's KJR's Fab 50 for the week of August 4:

1.Come Back When You Grow Up—Bobby Vee
Bobby Vee descended into teen idol irrelevance in 1964 and this was his big comeback. Things changed so quickly in the 60s that ’64 and ’67 were about a decade apart (and ’63 and ’67 were about two decades apart). Is the music, or pop culture in general, of 2008 noticeably different from that of 2005? Doesn’t seem like it to me, but then I’m a bit out of the loop.

2.Ode to Billie Joe—Bobbie Gentry
I remember counting the number of times I heard this song (on KOL) in one day, and it seems like it was ten.

3.All You Need is Love/Baby You’re a Rich Man—The Beatles
I’m very glad, to the point of smugness I suppose, to have been born when I was and to have gotten into music/TV/etc at an early age. I particularly enjoy the fact that I can remember hearing new music by the Beatles on the radio.

4.Pleasant Valley Sunday—The Monkees
Another one of my birthday presents that year was the Monkees' Headquarters album, which is still one of my all-time favorites. It didn't contain any singles, though, and this song appeared on their next album.

5.Light My Fire—The Doors
This, #2 and #40 are the songs I associate most with listening to the radio during this period.

6.Carrie-Anne—The Hollies
The most trebly kinds of music I can think of are bluegrass and the Hollies.

7.Silence is Golden—The Tremeloes
The Four Seasons released this as a b-side in 1964, and that’s the more familiar version for me, thanks to it appearing on the LP The Four Seasons Story, which I bought in high school.

8.Brown-Eyed Girl—Van Morrison
If I keep trying to think of something to write about every song I'll never finish this.

9.Apples, Peaches, Pumpkin Pie—Jay & the Techniques

10.Little Bit o’ Soul—The Music Explosion

11.I Was Made to Love Her—Stevie Wonder

12.Happy and Me—Don & the Goodtimes
I think of this as “The Little Dog Death Song,” due to its opening lyrics, “Remember when your little dog died/And upon my shoulder you cried.” Nationally, this record peaked at #98 (in Billboard magazine), but at #11 at KJR. The group was from Portland, Oregon.

13.Fakin’ It—Simon & Garfunkel

14.Try, Try, Try—Jim Valley
This one didn’t make the Billboard Hot 100 at all, coming up just short at #106 on the Bubbling Under the Hot 100 chart. Jim “Harpo” Valley was a Seattle boy, a member of local group the Viceroys, then joining Don & the Goodtimes and then, briefly, Paul Revere & the Raiders. This was around the time he left the Raiders.

15.A Girl Like You—The Young Rascals

16.Lovely Rita—The Beatles (LP)
Usually Top 40 stations only played songs released as singles, but sometimes exceptions were made, especially for Beatles or Monkees songs.

17.White Rabbit—Jefferson Airplane
My mom hates this song.

18.I Thank the Lord For the Night Time—Neil Diamond

19.Let the Good Times Roll—Bunny Sigler

20.Soul Finger—Bar-Kays
I’m not sure which finger is the soul finger. The song is an instrumental, other than a bunch of kids yelling “soul finger!,” so it doesn’t really help.

21.Lovin’ Sound—Ian & Sylvia
#101 in Billboard, #17 at KJR (facts like that fascinate me). They were Canadian.

22.The World We Knew (Over and Over)—Frank Sinatra

23.To Love Somebody—Bee Gees

24.Omaha—Moby Grape
The word “Omaha” does not actually appear in the song, which a lot of people probably thought was called “Listen My Friends.”

25.Reflections—Diana Ross & the Supremes
This was the record where they changed from “The Supremes” to “Diana Ross & the Supremes.”

26.San Francisco—Scott McKenzie
You know, the flowers in your hair and the gentle people there.

27.Baby I Love You—Aretha Franklin

28.Can’t Take My Eyes Off You—Frankie Valli
Frankie had kind of a double career going on at this time—while the Four Seasons were trying to keep up with what was going on in rock music, he was also going in the opposite direction with more easy-listening-leaning solo records. Mark Lindsay of Paul Revere & the Raiders did something similar a couple years later.

29.Mercy, Mercy, Mercy—The Buckinghams
I love the Buckinghams.

30.Windy—The Association

31.You’re a Very Lovely Woman—The Merry-Go-Round
#94 Billboard, #17 KJR. I don’t think things like that happen anymore; that is, it seems like the hits in one city are the same as in another, unless one city has a sports team that makes a rap record or something.

32.San Franciscan Nights—Eric Burdon & the Animals
This is the one where the cop’s face is filled with hate, but it’s an American dream that includes Indians too.

33.Society’s Child—Janis Ian
When Janis Ian was 24 years old, she had her second big hit record, “At Seventeen,” which was about having been an unpopular, ugly loser as a teen. But when she was seventeen she had already had her first big hit record, this one. I always thought that was kind of weird.

34.Anything Goes—Harper’s Bizarre
#43 Billboard, #9 KJR.

35.There is a Mountain—Donovan
First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is. The lock upon my garden gate’s a snail, that’s what it is. Caterpillar sheds his skin to find the butterfly within. Oh Juanita, I call your name. The snow will be a blinding sight to see as it lies on yonder hillside.

36.Cold Sweat—James Brown
On the other hand, this was #7 Billboard, #35 KJR.

37.You Know What I Mean—The Turtles

38.Don’t Sleep in the Subway—Petula Clark

39.I Dig Rock & Roll Music—Peter, Paul & Mary
It never occurred to me at the time, but this is obviously an anti-rock & roll song. Just listen closely! They even come right out and tell us they’re being sarcastic—“But if I really say it/The radio won’t play it/Unless I lay it between the lines.” But radio either didn’t get it or didn’t care, and neither did the fans. But listen!

40.The Letter—The Box Tops
How many other songs have contained the word "aeroplane"?

41.It’s the Little Things—Sonny & Cher

42.Run, Run, Run—The Third Rail
Vocal by Joey Levine, who also sang the Ohio Express hits (“Yummy Yummy Yummy,” “Chewy Chewy,” etc.), “Life is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)” by Reunion, and two early 80s commercial jingles I remember well:

Wanna have some fun, here’s an aisle of candy bars
So many flavors good to eat
Wanna have some fun, here’s a fountain of Slurpees
Flowing icy cold and sweet
Wanna have some fun, something something
Something something something
Wanna have some fun, wanna have some fun
At Seven-Eleven fun is waiting for you!

And

Orange you smart
For drinking orange juice
Pure refreshment every taste [or something like that]
Hey orange you smart
For drinking to your body’s content
A taste that only nature could invent
Hey! Orange you smart!

43.You Were on My Mind—Crispian St. Peters

44.Things I Should Have Said—The Grass Roots

45.Cry Softly Lonely One—Roy Orbison
It may seem kind of funny to see Roy Orbison on the charts in the summer of ’67, but he had been hanging on with a string of (generally pretty cool) minor hits ever since his last big one, “Oh, Pretty Woman” in 1964. This one hit #52 in Billboard and #42 at KJR, and was his last appearance in the Hot 100 until his 80s comeback.

46.Heroes and Villains—The Beach Boys
I’ve been in this town so long that back in the city I’ve been taken for lost and gone and unknown for a long long time.

47.Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead—The Fifth Estate

48.More Love—Smokey Robinson & the Miracles

49.In the Chapel in the Moonlight—Dean Martin

50.Out & About—Tommy Boyce & Bobby Hart

Looking at Lois Lane #38, January 1963, Part Three

“The Girl Who Refused to Marry Superman!”
Art: Kurt Schaffenberger
It’s February 14 and Superman is visiting the Daily Planet offices. As Lois and Jimmy look on, Perry shows him a mound of thousands of St. Valentine’s Day cards that were sent to him in care of the Planet. “Gosh, Perry! This is embarrassing!” he objects, but Lois isn’t having it: “Tush! MY card is in there, and I’m sure Lana Lang didn’t forget you, either! So, suppose you start reading them! It’s the least you owe the people who sent them!” “Well…er…okay, Lois!” he stammers, his tail between his legs. Suddenly there’s someone else in the room, a guy with a receding hairline, horn-rimmed glasses and a bow tie, who looks a little like Bill Cullen or maybe Bennett Cerf, looking straight at the reader, pointing at Superman with his thumb, and exclaiming, “Holy cats! He’s reading 1,000 CARDS a second!” Bill/Bennett vanishes as quickly and mysteriously as he appeared, with seemingly no one else in the story having noticed him. “Here’s the card YOU sent, Lois! Also Lana Lang’s!” says Superman. “But I wonder if you both are any different from these female admirers who know me only as SUPERMAN, the great, glamorous hero!” “What do you mean, SUPERMAN?” frowns Lois. “Just this! These girls don’t know the real ‘me,’ the person I am when I’m not wearing my colorful costume! [And Lois and Lana do?] Would they be attracted to me if they knew me only as an ordinary American? I’ve often wondered whether you or Lana would care for me if I were not SUPERMAN…”

But SUPERMAN cuts himself off in mid-sentence, thinking, “Gasp! I-I feel a tingling sensation, which means the onset of a RED KRYPTONITE reaction! One of the RED HEARTS on these cards must contain some grains of RED KRYPTONITE which must have accidentally mixed with the red ink!” [Not again!] He quickly makes an excuse (“important matters to attend to”) and flies out the window. “Seriously, Lois, SUPERMAN raised a good question!” points out Perry. “You and Lana have been mad about SUPERMAN for years! But would either of you still love him if he weren’t the greatest super-hero of all time?” [What if he were, say, Aquaman?] “Of course I would, Perry!” objects Lois, while thinking, “But…honestly…WOULD I? I wonder…”

Superman, meanwhile, has decided that the red kryptonite tingling was only a false alarm. He spots two crooks fleeing a bank robbery, and one of them, who looks like he should be named “Rocky,” pulls a hand grenade out of his pocket and flings it at him. The other one, who looks like a “Muggsy” or maybe a “Lefty,” sneers, “You fool! What good is a grenade against SUPERMAN? His body is INDESTRUCTIBLE!” But, after a “KABOOOM!” and a “YEOOWWW!”, Superman falls to the sidewalk with an “OHHHHH!” and a “KRUMMPPP!”

Next we see Superman on a stretcher in Metropolis Hospital, with bandages on his head, face, chest and arm. “W-Wait! That hand-grenade…my face…I-I remember falling! Where am I?” “In a hospital, my good man, getting a blood transfusion!” answers the doctor. “What’s the big idea of masquerading as SUPERMAN?” “Masquerading? Are you mad? I AM SUPERMAN! I…groan…Ohh, my legs! My arms! They hurt so…” “Take it easy, mister, and lie still! You’ve got broken bones and we’ve taken a dozen grenade splinters out of your body…which proves you’re NOT SUPERMAN! If you were SUPERMAN, your skin would be penetrable [I think he means impenetrable…] and we couldn’t give you a blood transfusion! Now come clean! Who are you? Why were you wearing a SUPERMAN costume?” “Great Kryptonite!” Superman thinks as he lifts his broken arm to his bandaged temple in a typical “Great Kryptonite!” gesture. “I know what’s wrong! The RED KRYPTONITE reaction! It robbed me of my super-powers just as I was about to stop those crooks! I became instantly transformed into a normal human being…” Give the doctor credit for open-mindedness, though, because despite the obvious non-invulnerability of his patient, he sends for Perry White to come and question the man: “He’ll know whether he’s a faker or not!”

That evening, Perry arrives at the hospital room and promptly lights his cigar. Lois and Jimmy, of course, have come with him. “If you really are SUPERMAN, tell me what you gave me for my birthday last month!” he challenges. “That’s easy…I gave you that cigar lighter you’re using. It contains a fuel from another world, so that you don’t have to refill it for TEN YEARS!” [Since it’s from another world, it follows that you wouldn’t have to refill it for ten years.] “There’s no doubt of his being SUPERMAN! Only SUPERMAN and I know about this unique lighter!” Perry tells the doctor. “Then SUPERMAN has actually LOST his powers! What a blow!” observes the doctor, who actually looks pretty blasé about the whole thing. “Now the whole universe will be at the mercy of the menaces SUPERMAN alone used to handle.” Lois sits on the edge of the bed and tries to console him. “This is terrible! SUPERMAN is now an ordinary person!” she says, coming up a bit short in the good cheer department. “Here’s the signal-watch you gave me, SUPERMAN! I-I guess I won’t be needing it any more!” is Jimmy’s contribution, which seems like adding insult to injury. “No, Jimmy! It looks like I…uh…won’t be much use to you now!” responds Superman, who then muses on the fact that the others don’t realize that this can’t last more than 48 hours. “Two days from now all my wounds will automatically heal and I’ll be my old self again! But what an opportunity this situation gives me to learn something that’s puzzled me for years! Whether Lois and Lana are in love with my GLAMOR or ME!”

The next day Lois and Lana enter the hospital room simultaneously; Lois with candy, fruit and books, and Lana with a transistor radio, a phonograph and a stack of records. “Now what shall I read to you…Shakespeare or a mystery?” asks Lois. “And after I fluff up your pillows, I’ll play your favorite records!” counters Lana. “What’ll it be…Beethoven or bop?” Superman asks them not to make a fuss, and reminds them that he’s nobody special now, just an ordinary man, but they each kiss him and swear that it doesn’t make any difference.

The next scene occurs “days later,” according to the caption, but 48 hours after the injuries, according to Lois. The doctor removes Superman’s head bandages and asks him what he sees—even though the bandages were never over his eyes in the first place. It must not yet be 48 hours after the grenade explosion, as Superman finds that he can’t even tell the difference between Lois and Lana, standing right in front of him. “It’s shocking, Lana!” confides Lois. “He can’t see—but only 48 hours ago he had microscopic vision, telescopic, and x-ray vision!” “Shh, Lois…SUPERMAN may hear you!” “You forget SUPERMAN no longer has super-hearing! The glamorous super-hero we once knew is no more! Now he’s just an invalid!” Perry, also in the room [though Jimmy vanished from the story as soon as Lana appeared—coincidence?], gives Superman a tape recorder so that he can dictate his memoirs for the Planet and earn a living like everybody else. Perry plugs it in and suggests, “Why don’t you begin by relating how you always kept an eye on your best friends? Like the many times you rescued Jimmy Olsen, Lois, Lana, and me?” Superman starts by remembering saving Lana from a dinosaur when she got “trapped in the prehistoric past” and Lois from savage aliens when Luthor had abandoned her in outer space. Soon he tells Perry that he’s too weak to continue. “Isn’t it awful, Lana?” asks Lois. “SUPERMAN can never come to our rescue again!” “You’re right! Our whole lives will change now that SUPERMAN is no longer “super’!” [What an inconvenience for the two of them.]

The next day, Lois and Lana are pushing Superman in a wheelchair in what looks like a park. “The doctors said it may take a year before you’ll be all right, SUPERMAN!” says Lana. “But you can count on Lois or me to be around!” “You mean…both of you STILL care for an invalid like me?” he whines pathetically. “Invalid…bosh!” replies Lois as she and Lana exchange worried looks behind his back. “Nothing…uh…could change our feelings toward you!” Unbeknownst to them, Superman is smirking and thinking, “Hmm…it won’t be long now before the RED KRYPTONITE wears off! [This is getting to be a very long 48 hours!] So tonight won’t be too soon to learn how these girls really feel about me! But I must lay my plans carefully!”

That night, Lois and Lana, both in dripping wet raincoats from a thunderstorm, are talking in Superman’s room, as he seems to be asleep. “But I’ve been wondering something, Lana!” says Lois. “Mind if I speak frankly to you…about SUPERMAN?” But he’s not asleep, he’s thinking: “That’s it, girls! Start talking! I can’t make out your voices or see you clearly, but the tape recorder volume is turned up to catch your every word!” Unfortunately, the reader can’t see which is which, as the following exchange occurs:

LL#1: Well, as you know, SUPERMAN isn’t super any more! He’s just ordinary now! This changes everything for me…”
LL#2: I can understand YOUR change of heart and why YOU’D never marry SUPERMAN now. But I’D marry him even if he were deaf, dumb and blind!”
LL#1: Then I wish you luck, because I’M dropping out of the picture! I guess I was always in love with the super-hero, not the man beneath the costume!”

But when they leave and Superman plays back the tape, he hears: “SQUAAWW! I won’t marry SUPERMAN now that he isn’t super any more! SQUAAWW! KRAA!” He doesn’t conclude that they were being attacked by crows, but instead thinks, “Gasp! I can’t make out who’s talking! The storm must have affected the mechanism and ruined the sound! One says she’ll marry me! One says she WON’T! But I can’t tell whether it’s Lois or Lana!”

Suddenly, Superman finds himself outside, in mid-air, grabbing Rocky and Muggsy by the collars. “See? Didn’t I tell you that grenade wouldn’t stop him? Now he’s got us!” nags Muggsy. “G-GOT them? But that grenade injured me! I-I lost my super-powers! I was hospitalized and I was testing Lois and Lana to see which one truly loved me!” thinks Superman. “GREAT KRYPTON! Now I know what happened! The RED KRYPTONITE didn’t affect my powers at all! But for one split second, it gave me a hallucination about Lois and Lana’s feelings about me! Between the time of the grenade burst and now I only experienced a SUPER-SPEED DREAM!”

The story ends with Superman still deep in thought, as now the press, the mobile TV camera unit, and Lois and Lana have arrived at the scene. “What’s the matter, SUPERMAN?” asks Lois. “You’re staring at me so strangely!” “And at me, too! What’s wrong?” asks Lana. “Why…er…nothing!” is all he can say, as he thinks, “Hmm…Even in a momentary hallucination I couldn’t learn which one would marry me for myself! I wonder…which of the two girls said ‘NO’…which one said ‘YES’??” And a final caption asks: “Readers—can you guess? Give us your reasons and we’ll print the best letters!”

The issue then ends with a 2/3 page Henry Boltinoff “Jerry the Jitterbug” gag—how out-of-date was that in 1963? Henry could at least have re-named him “Twistin’ Tim”…

Looking at Lois Lane #38, January 1963, Part Two

“Lois Lane’s Signal Watch!”
Art: Kurt Schaffenberger
“One day, at a criminal hideout in METROPOLIS…” a man who looks like a shady barber is removing bandages from another man’s face. “For Pete’s sake, Boss, that plastic surgery operation,” says the subject patient as he eyes a looking-glass mirror, “made me look like SUPERMAN! What’s the big idea?” “Relax, ‘Muscles’! That’s just who you’re supposed to look like!” replies the boss, the nattily-dressed, double-chinned Kimbo. Kimbo pays the “doctor” the first installment of his fee, then begins tutoring Muscles: “Right now I want you to study these pictures of SUPERMAN’S friends and learn to recognize them on sight! I also want you to practice imitating his voice from some records I have!” [Kimbo’s collection includes all of Superman’s biggest hits.]

“Days later, in the office of the Daily Planet,” Lois suddenly realizes that it’s been five years since racket king Bugs Gorcey vanished, which means it’s time they opened the sealed letter he left for her. Perry, instantly pulling out the letter, points out that the five years will actually be up at 3 o’clock the day after tomorrow—apparently it’s been on his mind. “I once rushed Bugs to a hospital when a rival gang shot him! He said he’d repay me some day! I wonder…” wonders Lois. Perry, who looks younger, slimmer and more handsome when drawn by Schaffenberger than in the Swan story, continues the exposition: “Rumors say that Gorcey had a million-dollar smuggling deal cooking when he vanished! Maybe that letter tells you where to locate the mysterious loot! Gorcey meant to repay you with a scoop! But your life may be in danger if you learn the location of that loot! Why not notify SUPERMAN?” Lois, as could be expected, replies that Superman is on a mission in Kandor and that she wants to handle this scoop of a lifetime on her own. They agree to open the envelope at 3PM on the appointed day, right after Lois covers a ship arrival that morning. However, a hidden microphone and radio inside a picture frame are broadcasting this conversation to Kimbo, Muscles and the “Doctor,” who is enthusiastically twiddling knobs on a huge radio receiver. “I always suspected Gorcey gave Lois Lane the location of his loot before he disappeared! That’s why I had the PLANET office wired!” explains Kimbo. “All right, Muscles, try this costume on for size! In two days you’re going on your first mission—as SUPERMAN!”

“Two days later, on the METROPOLIS waterfront,” Muscles-as-Superman approaches Lois, explains that he just got back from Kandor, and presents her with a signal watch like Jimmy’s. “Ohhh, SUPERMAN! What a thrilling gift!” gushes Lois, touched to finally be on a par with Jimmy in Superman’s heart. “Lois, my super-hearing detected your conversation with Perry about Gorcey’s hidden loot! Promise me you’ll signal me if you get in a jam!” explains Muscles. Lois agrees, thinking “CHOKE! I never realized how much he worries about me!” Muscles dives off the pier into the water, saying that he needs to help test the escape hatch on a new atomic submarine and telling Lois not to mention the watch to anyone. “Goodbye, SUPERMAN, dear!” Lois coos, thinking, “That watch shows how much he cares for me! Oh, joy! Perhaps some day soon he’ll be giving me a RING!” [Sorry, Lois, but it hasn’t worked out that way for Jimmy—who, unlike you, doesn’t have to keep his watch a secret.] Under another pier, Kimbo helps Muscles into a rowboat while the “Doctor,” now wearing a suit and tie instead of his barber smock, sits holding the oars. “It worked like a charm, Boss!” says Muscles. “The Lane dame will be wearing that signal watch 24 hours a day!” “Good work, ‘Muscles’!” replies Kimbo. “With that watch, which signals only US, Lois Lane will lead us right to Gorcey’s million-dollar loot!”

Back at the Planet, Lois runs into Jimmy, who has a bandaged head and his right arm in a sling--an arm that appears to be missing its hand. “That’s right, Lois…I stopped a runaway horse in the park! I tried to signal SUPERMAN, but I forgot he was in KANDOR!” says Jimmy, gesturing with the hand he has left. “But, Jimmy, I spoke to him and he even gave…er…maybe you’re right! I was mistaken!”says Lois, thinking “I mustn’t mention my watch! SUPERMAN asked me NOT to…ULP…that is, if it WAS SUPERMAN!” Kimbo and the boys, listening in, begin to worry that Lois is getting wise. Lois and Perry open Gorcey’s envelope. “Geronimo! You were right, Perry! This letter tells exactly where to find the loot that Gorcey hid!” blurts Lois with a greed-crazed look on her face. “Hmm! But that hiding place is a dilly! You’ll need special equipment to reach it! I’ll order it for you at once!” responds Perry, looking over her shoulder.

Perry makes the arrangements and gives Lois the address where she can pick up the equipment. Listening in, Kimbo hears Lois say that she’ll take a taxi and gets an idea: “So she’s going to take a TAXI, eh? Boys, I think I know how to prove to Lois Lane that she really saw SUPERMAN today! Doc—put on these dark glasses—you’re about to become a taxi driver!” An hour later, Lois steps out of the Planet building and Doc, in cab driver disguise with dark glasses and a cap with his suit and tie, immediately pulls up. “Soon, as the taxi races down a steep incline,” Doc cries out: “EEEYOW! My brakes just failed! The taxi’s out of control!” “ULP! What a spot! I’d better call SUPERMAN! GULP! That is, if this signal-watch works!” thinks Lois. As soon as the “ZEEE! ZEEE!” comes out of the watch, Doc starts using the brakes and the cab slows. “Hey, Miss, look! It was SUPERMAN who stopped us!” yells Doc, thinking, “CHUCKLE! It’s really ‘Muscles’ in disguise! He was waiting here at this pre-arranged spot!” As a relieved Lois relaxes in the back seat, Doc thinks, “Now it’s up to ‘Muscles’ to fake SUPERMAN’s ‘flight’ away from this phoney rescue!” Muscles is behind a tree, thinking “Ha! Ha! As soon as this compressed helium inflates this rubber balloon of SUPERMAN, it’ll rise in the air, and that Lane dame will think it’s her dream boy flying away!” Unlikely as this sounds, it works, with Lois saying, “He didn’t even wait for our thanks! Isn’t he just wonderful?”

Lois prudently has the cab drop her off blocks from her destination, the Acme Industrial & Safety Equipment Co. at the edge of Metropolis, where a long green Daily Planet station wagon is parked, loaded with the things Perry had obtained for her. She drives to “Old Bat Grotto,” where she changes into a miner’s outfit—apparently the “special equipment” consists of coveralls, a helmet, and a rope. Once inside the cave, she tilts a stalagmite as instructed by Gorcey’s letter. This opens a hidden door in the rock formation, revealing a hidden chest. “Good grief! It’s loaded with diamonds!” thinks Lois. “Now I remember! There was a big robbery of industrial diamonds in Europe about six years ago! Gorcey must have smuggled the stolen goods into this country! I’ll have to call SUPERMAN to help me with that chest!” “ZEEE-ZEEE,” goes the signal watch, and the signal is received by a helicopter hovering nearby. “There’s your supersonic signal, Kimbo! It seems to be coming from that cave!” “HA! Lois thinks she’s signaling SUPERMAN! Is she due for a surprise when she learns her watch is so fixed that its signal reaches only OUR SPECIAL RADIO!”

The three crooks enter Old Bat Grotto and Kimbo starts shooting. “Stand where you are, Miss Lane, “ he orders, “or my next bullets will be aimed right at you!” Lois ducks for cover, but Kimbo’s shots cause several stalactites to land on her. She is trapped, though “miraculously uninjured,” thinking, “I’m pinned down here! But why doesn’t Superman answer my signal? Hmm…the watch was damaged by the falling stalactites, but I’ll try it again!” Muscles appears in his Superman costume and sneers, “Forget the watch, girlie! It’s a PHONEY! I gave it to you myself while pretending to be SUPERMAN!” “Oh, no!” gasps Lois. Suddenly, into Old Bat Grotto flies Supergirl, whose “amazing heat vision melts the stalactites and stalagmites into a barrier,” which the crooks run smack into. “OUCH…my nose!” yells Muscles. Supergirl seals them in a cage made of more stalactites and stalagmites, as Muscles pouts, “CHEE! You broke my nose, SUPERGIRL!” “Gosh, I’m sorry, ‘Superman’! -CHUCKLE!- But I thought you were as invulnerable as I am!” laughs Supergirl.

Back in Perry’s office, Lois asks, “But if the signal watch was a phoney, how did you manage to find me, SUPERGIRL?” As Jimmy, still bandaged, eyes her warily, Supergirl explains, “When the falling stalactites struck the watch, they CHANGED the frequency of the signal! By a freak twist, the NEW frequency was tuned to MY super-hearing, just as the frequency of Jimmy’s watch is tuned only to SUPERMAN’s hearing! Then, with my telescopic vision, I traced the course of the supersonic alarm, and…” In a flashback panel, Supergirl thinks, “It’s Lois Lane! Those crooks have her trapped in Old Bat Grotto! I’d better hurry!” Later, when they’re alone, Supergirl says to Lois, “I’m sorry that signal-watch was a fake! But between us girls, perhaps some day soon you may get a GENUINE signal-watch!” Lois, nearly overcome with emotion, replies, “Oh, SUPERGIRL, do you think it will really happen some day?” A final caption asks, “How about it, readers? Do you think Lois ought to have her own signal-watch? Write and tell us your view!”

The story is followed by the letters page, Letters to Lois, which contains eight letters, including this one from Joe Pedecino of Marietta, Georgia:

Dear Editor: I think Lana Lang would make a much better wife for SUPERMAN than Lois Lane for the following reasons: She is prettier than Lois…She is not as inquisitive as Lois…She is not as jealous as Lois…She does not get into as much trouble as Lois…She knows SUPERMAN longer than Lois, ever since he was SUPERBOY back in Smallville.
(We think you are overlooking several of Lois’ qualifications. She is a better reporter than Lana…she has offered to sacrifice her life to save SUPERMAN on many occasions…she has proved to be more generous than Lana, and often does good deeds anonymously, without wanting credit. However, to sum it up, both girls have virtues which far outweigh their faults—so, let the best girl win!—Ed.)